I believe I understand those angry Chinese youths who display a high level of Chinese nationalism, because I was once forced to be one of them.
As the Cultural Revolution began, I graduated from senior high. Any school staff member, from the principal to an ordinary teacher, might be singled out as a target in the class struggle. Consequently, everyone in society was panic-stricken. On one occasion where red flags were fluttering amid loud voices, every participant demonstrated his/her anger. However cruel or inhumane a proposal was, it would definitely find an echo in the gangs of fuming youths.
I knew I was pretending to be "angry" together with all the others present. We were hurting others so as to protect ourselves. An aged teacher had served as a principal at a school founded by the Kuomintang (KMT). Someone shouted, "Exterminate the leftover dregs and evil remnants of the KMT! Beat him to death!" As it turned out, the old teacher was beaten to death on the spot.
My recollections of that time usually send a shiver down my spine. Despite extreme caution, some people kept being picked out as targets, because the goal of locating five percent of the class enemies had to be achieved.
At our school there was a pretty Russian teacher, who had just graduated from college. Her optimism and helpfulness earned her popularity among students and teachers. But someone suspected her of spying for the Soviet Union based on the fact that she could speak Russian. As a result, she was led to the stage to give an accounting. Such was her fear that she couldn't help shivering and howling. Everyone present surely knew she was victimized, but no one out of the thousands of onlookers dared to stand up for her. Amazingly, the thousands of spectators unanimously lifted their fists, shouting, "Knock down the spy for the Soviet Union," and "Use life and blood to safeguard our country."
What a hypocritical occasion! All its participants reached a unanimous agreement to shout out their pretended rage and to behave affectedly. A spell seemed to be cast on everyone. How true it was that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) could transform people. Suddenly numerous souls were twisted, their consciences betrayed. In the wake of the Anti-Rightist Campaign and the Cultural Revolution, interpersonal relations became hostile and calculating. No wonder moral degeneration of the country is worsening.
Encouraged by the growing jeers, the angry youths pulled her hair to have her kneel down on the stage. She finally broke down and confessed her spying and then the gangs of youths escorted her to find the radio and the hidden budget for her spying. When nothing could be found, everyone came up to hit her and then half her head was shaved. The young teacher was forced to kneel down outside the school to be hit, kicked or spat on by every passer-by. In no time the young girl went out of her mind. Once she regained consciousness, she committed suicide.
On this occasion, my inner self seemed to be torn to pieces, while my outer self was still venting my affected anger, chanting slogans and swearing not to reconcile with her. I could also sympathize with the angry youths who tortured her. To redeem their suffering conscience, they could only vent their anger on the helpless, innocent victims and indulge in their brutality so as to numb their consciences.
When recalling these past experiences, I can sense an incurable pain in my mind. The further away I am from the scene of terror, the more wide-awake my conscience is. The longer the time has been, the more stinging my inner pain is.
Because of my experience of being an angry youth, I can quite understand contemporary angry youths.
The angry youths surely know that the CCP drove its tanks to Tiananmen Square to kill those patriotic students [on 4 June 1989]. Do they really doubt that the CCP recently killed our Tibetan countrymen [in Lhasa]? Are they really ignorant of the bans on China's newspapers, the Internet blockade, the arrests of countless petitioners who go to Beijing to complain about the wrongdoings of local officials and ask the authorities to render justice, the harvesting of organs from live Falun Gong practitioners, the widening gap between poor and rich, as well as rampant corruption and bribery? Don't they really believe that ordinary Chinese people are being loaded down with disproportionately high Medicare payments, high-rate home loans, and skyrocketing tuition?
To tell the truth, no matter how angry the young people appear, basically they are acting for their personal interests.
I would like to advise the angry young people to stop torturing their consciences. For the prosperity of our ancient Chinese nation, for a promising future for our Chinese people, stop the behavior that will bring regret to your lives. If you really love your country, you should pluck up your courage and help bring an end to the CCP's totalitarian dictatorship.
The author has used an alias for protection
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