Writing a review from the first person perspective is not normally the done thing. But then this is Transformers and I'm a fanboy so this counts as an exception.
Firstly, I have to get a confession off my chest: I was a doubter during the pre-release hype, moaning about the little changes that they appeared to be making to my beloved Transformers (Bumblebee isn't a Beetle; robots with lips; Optimus Prime has flames!). But I'm pleased to report that I've never been so happy to be proven wrong.
Yes, some of those gripes still stand (c'mon, lips on a mechanised robot are a bit silly aren't they?) but they pale in comparison to the total product. It might sound hyperbolic to say but Transformers is quite conceivably the most amazing summer spectacle ever.
Set in a hyperreal world where even the computer geeks look like supermodels (Rachael Taylor— See No Evil ), Transformers is the epic story of war waging, gigantic robot aliens and the battle they bring to Earth. But it's the grounding of something so fantastical in a comical coming of age story that makes this movie work so well. The teenager coming of age in this tale is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf— I, Robot ); average, awkward and consumed with your typical teen issues—school, girls, friends, girls, cars and girls.
Unaware of the important role he has to play in the Transformers eternal war, Sam and the object of his affections Mikaela (Megan Fox— Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen ) find themselves thrown head first into the middle of the struggle between the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons, fighting not only for their own survival but that of the whole human race.
Filled to retina-scorching level with out of this world special effects, eardrum-assaulting levels of booming bass and more spectacular action set-pieces than a fleet of Pirates flicks or a dozen Die Hard s, Transformers is your quintessential big budget blockbuster. Big, brash and loud, it is also indelibly a Michael Bay movie, who finds time to showcase his trademark shots—plenty of orange hues and numerous shots of the sunset, kinetic car chases, his favoured "hero shot" as the camera pans 360 degrees around its subject—as well as some singular fancy flourishes like his surely now-patented whirly shoot 'em up.
Also offering arguably the best effects ever rendered on screen you'll really believe a giant 40-foot robot can transform. Breathtaking each and every time a car/tank/plane/truck changes to robot and back again it never gets old, especially when accompanied—subtly—by that cool signature transforming sound. But it's not just about the robots, Transformers featuring more stuff blown to smithereens on-screen, more shaky-cam chases and more carnage brought to the downtown streets of Los Angeles than ever before. Transformers truly sets the new benchmark for all to equal.
But as admittedly astonishing as these effects are, it's the human side of this saga that truly impresses.
Scripted by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, it's clear that as much importance was placed on developing the plot and dialogue as designing the technology to realise the robots in disguise as live-action. A human story set against a fantastical backdrop, the characters in Transformers consistently ring true whilst the specifics of the globe-trotting and epic story in which they're set generally stay within the confines of believability. Yes, it's a little hokey at times, especially concerning the bland and clichéd GI Joes returning from Qatar, but the human side is ultimately always grounded in reality.
It helps that the majority of the screen time is spent with the phenomenally talented Shia LaBeouf. Possessing that charming everyman quality that all the most likeable heroes have, Shia's Sam Witwicky is a sheltered but likeable boy that you can't help rooting for. Always owning the screen, even when juxtaposed with a giant transforming robot, it's scary just how big a star this kid seems destined to be.
Holding her own however, with the second most screen time after LaBeouf, is the largely unknown Megan Fox. Playing Mikaela as resourceful and ballsy with real layers to her character instead of being just the token eye-candy, there is clearly "more than meets the eye" to this emerging talent.
Undoubtedly the movie of the summer, Transformers is the summer spectacle to end all summer spectacles and the realisation of a million childhood fantasies. Littered with nice historical nods for Transformers devotees, it's surely set to be a behemoth and the beginning of a new franchise. And I for one am ecstatically happy.
Five stars out of five
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